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In the last two weeks I have had the opportunity to sit in a theater to watch 3 different films…
Here are my reviews of each:

KINGSMAN: SECRET SERVICE:
I was invited to see this flick by a buddy of mine and I went in blind because I had not even seen a trailer of it before walking into the theater. It was rated R and I expected some violence and language, but what I didn’t expect was the preview trailer before the film. On the screen came the preview of the movie “unfinished business” and I was subject to non stop cursing from the start and it ended with a full nudity sex scene that was meant to be funny. Sorry Hollywood, it wasn’t funny at all. As a matter of fact it almost spoiled my movie. When you go to a film with an expectation of the content that is in it and then met with a trailer that is more inappropriate than the movie itself, you feel cheated and ticked off.
So enough of that rant. Lets get to the movie review. It started off amazing with a smart james bond type of script. It was slick, creative and heady. As soon as I got comfortable with that Samuel Jackson came on the screen as the bad guy that can be best described as the cross between Russell Simmons, Snakes on a plane, and a Dr. Evil with a lisp. I was so entranced with this film and when Sam Jackson showed up I could no longer take the movie seriously. I decided to sit back and attempt to calm my spy alter ego down. I found myself entertained, but no longer impressed. The violence was over the top and almost cartoony which ruined the smarty spy aspect. At the end of the movie we find out a mechanism in a persons neck could make their head explode. Ok.. That actually does make sense… and then we actually see 200 peoples heads explode. Do they explode like you would anticipate with blood and brains all over and us wanting to throw up from disgust? Nope… they explode with colored chalk dust in a cloud of purple and blue rainbows followed by a mushroom cloud of disappointment. To cap it all off, because I can only assume they wanted to compete with the “coming soon trailer” before it they decided to throw in a butt shot in the last 2 min for absolutely no reason at all.
Conclusion – I tried… I really tried… Sam Jackson and the color chalk exploding heads made a really cool spy thriller into a fantastical dumb mess. – 2 of 5 stars

THE IMITATION GAME:
My wife and I had a date night last week that started off with a nasty, moldy piece of toast at IHOP. It was essential that this movie changed the trajectory of my evening. THANK GOD IT DID! I am a huge fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, having first become a fan with the BBC show “Sherlock”. I don’t have a ton to say about this movie because there is literally nothing about it I could complain about. The story was based on a true one and while I had heard pieces of this, it was amazing to watch what happened. The acting was extraordinary! The script was well written, believable, inspiring and obviously a labour of love. I didn’t want this movie to end. It is not a traditional war movie because it is centered around a bunch of code breakers. This movie is a masterpiece.
Conclusion – If you don’t see this film I will come to your house and smack you. 5 of 5 stars

JUPITER ASCENDING:
Do you see the picture I chose for this post with the girl, Jupiter, falling from a building and screaming that somebody would save her from the pending doom? That is exactly how I felt watching this movie. I really wanted to see this movie. I really wanted to like this movie and I really wish I had bought a coffee to bring into the theater because my friends to the left and right of my both fell asleep. The PG in the PG-13 rating for this movie I’m sure stood for PIECE OF GARBAGE! Visually it was mind-blowing and memorizing even if the laser guns never seemed to hit anything or anybody. As I was being entranced by the visual effects, the space ships and the intergalactic steam punk world I was bombarded by quite possibly the worst script ever written in movie history. It was like that scene in the wizard of OZ where Dorothy was told to “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”. The Visual effects were designed to attempt to distract us from a script that was obviously written by a panel of 4 year olds. Somewhere in the middle of the movie, as we were all woken up from our slumber in the utter boredom, it became apparent we were watching a Space twilight movie. Every time there was a cool fight scene I would sit up excited to finally get into the movie, only then to find myself scratching my head wondering why something so beautiful was so boring and contrived. There are three major bad guys who individually have a climactic scene. Oddly enough though the scenes end with nothing climatic ad all and cut to another place in space. As a movie watcher you are tossed around, jumbled up and forced to ingest this story on account you don’t want to waste your $9 by walking out.

Caine is falling in love with Jupiter, but Doesn’t believe they have much in common. Jupiter disagrees…

Caine Wise: Your Majesty, I have more in common with a dog than I have with you.
Jupiter Jones: I love dogs

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! “I LOVE DOGS” as she leans in and tries to kiss him? all this script convinces me is to write a PSA to all the kids out there. Ahem… KIDS… DON’T DO DRUGS and STAY IN SCHOOL or else you will write dumb crap like this!

There is even one scene where she asks CAine “do you want to bite me now?” He doesn’t bite her, thankfully, but this MOVIE sure BITES!

Conclusion – I could literally talk about every every moment of this ‘dog dung wrapped in a beautiful package’, but It’s best I put it simply. DO NOT see this movie! Let me give you some recommendations of other crappy movies instead so you can grasp how bad this was. Battlefield earth, Leonard part 6, BioDome, Catwoman, Rabid Grannies. Are you tracking with me here? 2 hours & 5 min you will NEVER EVER get back.  0 of 5 stars

mustownToday a friend of mine asked me this question:
“I’m trying to rebuild my DVD collection. What are your top must own DVD’s?

It made me think… First off, to me a “Must own” is one I am personally willing to watch over and over again and enjoy it just as much as the first time I watched it. This was actually hard to think through, but I think I came to a pretty good conclusion. Here are the movies that are on MY personal must own list:

1. Amadeus
2. Dead Poets Society
3. Swing Kids
4. Tombstone
5. Monty Python and Holy Grail
6. Dances with Wolves
7. Starwars Trilogy
8. Lord of the rings trilogy
9. IP man Trilogy
10. Princess Bride
11. White Christmas
12. 12 Monkeys
13. Legends of the Fall
14. Jurassic Park
15. Never-ending Story
16. Darkwing Duck Box Set
17. Mr. Bean Box Set
18. Godspell
19. West Side Story
20. Rent

Here is the Film caption…

“In a world where kings and empires rise and fall, where fantasy becomes reality, where armies are slaughtered for thier beliefs, where rulers are disemboweled on toilets, where sex and passion are in the open….there stands one man willing to change it all……
This summer embark on a journey from other worlds to an earthly garden and discover what it really means to be ALIVE….the Bible…opens in theaters everywhere june 2009”

We are having a great discussion in my last post about the watchmen. WHICH I DON’t RECOMMEND (sadly..I really wish I could). Go read the comments. Great stuff.

Anyway, It got me thinking. I have always found it odd how much violence and sex etc etc is in the Bible and that even by our own standards we would not see it if it was a movie. Just an interesting thought.

Anybody have any thoughts on that?

Wolverine Origins Trailer

December 16, 2008 — 4 Comments

Finally! Woverine Origins is coming out. I have been waiting for this movie FOREVER! I read the graphic novel a long time ago and imagined it as a movie, but never thought it would happen. Here it is…

RSS READERS VIDEO EMBEDED…OPEN AN WATCH!

the watchmen

the watchmen

I want you to read this and get a good mental picture. The year is 1992. My friend Jon and I are both huge comic book fans and are trying to break into the industry as artists and writers. Somehow we met an industry pro who just become a “christian”. So we are sitting in this guys attic.

The two of us are sitting there trying to learn everything we can from this published comic book artist. The room is full of smoke and ash. Comics are strewn across the floor intermingled with trashy magazines. He has 4 shelves full of old comic book toys and figures covered in god knows what. There are things on the floor that resemble drug paraphernalia. The room is a total wreck and on closer instection so is our “mentor”.

We sat and listened to his crazy stories of comic book groupies and drugs and fame all the while wondering if this guy was really the guy we wanted to learn from. He told us he found God and was changing so we started working on a huge Christian comic book series. It was amazing and to this day I wish we ahd finished it.

He gave me one major piece of advice.

He said “dude before you do anything in comics…read this” as he handed me a well read copy of the watchmen.

I read tons of Spiderman and Batman, but what he handed me would change my comic world forever. I eventually did get in the comic book industry. Sadly it was short lived, but a blast. My story telling and art was forever changed because of that one sentence of advice from a stoned out, smoke smellin’, lust crazed man. ” Dude ……..read this”

I have since read it at least 25-30 times. I have been waiting since 1992 to hear that a movie was finally being made of this book. There have been rumors for years and years, but below is the trailor as proof that it will be here soon. Read this book if you haven’t already. You have some time before the movie.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg]