Archives For movie review

movie1

In the last two weeks I have had the opportunity to sit in a theater to watch 3 different films…
Here are my reviews of each:

KINGSMAN: SECRET SERVICE:
I was invited to see this flick by a buddy of mine and I went in blind because I had not even seen a trailer of it before walking into the theater. It was rated R and I expected some violence and language, but what I didn’t expect was the preview trailer before the film. On the screen came the preview of the movie “unfinished business” and I was subject to non stop cursing from the start and it ended with a full nudity sex scene that was meant to be funny. Sorry Hollywood, it wasn’t funny at all. As a matter of fact it almost spoiled my movie. When you go to a film with an expectation of the content that is in it and then met with a trailer that is more inappropriate than the movie itself, you feel cheated and ticked off.
So enough of that rant. Lets get to the movie review. It started off amazing with a smart james bond type of script. It was slick, creative and heady. As soon as I got comfortable with that Samuel Jackson came on the screen as the bad guy that can be best described as the cross between Russell Simmons, Snakes on a plane, and a Dr. Evil with a lisp. I was so entranced with this film and when Sam Jackson showed up I could no longer take the movie seriously. I decided to sit back and attempt to calm my spy alter ego down. I found myself entertained, but no longer impressed. The violence was over the top and almost cartoony which ruined the smarty spy aspect. At the end of the movie we find out a mechanism in a persons neck could make their head explode. Ok.. That actually does make sense… and then we actually see 200 peoples heads explode. Do they explode like you would anticipate with blood and brains all over and us wanting to throw up from disgust? Nope… they explode with colored chalk dust in a cloud of purple and blue rainbows followed by a mushroom cloud of disappointment. To cap it all off, because I can only assume they wanted to compete with the “coming soon trailer” before it they decided to throw in a butt shot in the last 2 min for absolutely no reason at all.
Conclusion – I tried… I really tried… Sam Jackson and the color chalk exploding heads made a really cool spy thriller into a fantastical dumb mess. – 2 of 5 stars

THE IMITATION GAME:
My wife and I had a date night last week that started off with a nasty, moldy piece of toast at IHOP. It was essential that this movie changed the trajectory of my evening. THANK GOD IT DID! I am a huge fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, having first become a fan with the BBC show “Sherlock”. I don’t have a ton to say about this movie because there is literally nothing about it I could complain about. The story was based on a true one and while I had heard pieces of this, it was amazing to watch what happened. The acting was extraordinary! The script was well written, believable, inspiring and obviously a labour of love. I didn’t want this movie to end. It is not a traditional war movie because it is centered around a bunch of code breakers. This movie is a masterpiece.
Conclusion – If you don’t see this film I will come to your house and smack you. 5 of 5 stars

JUPITER ASCENDING:
Do you see the picture I chose for this post with the girl, Jupiter, falling from a building and screaming that somebody would save her from the pending doom? That is exactly how I felt watching this movie. I really wanted to see this movie. I really wanted to like this movie and I really wish I had bought a coffee to bring into the theater because my friends to the left and right of my both fell asleep. The PG in the PG-13 rating for this movie I’m sure stood for PIECE OF GARBAGE! Visually it was mind-blowing and memorizing even if the laser guns never seemed to hit anything or anybody. As I was being entranced by the visual effects, the space ships and the intergalactic steam punk world I was bombarded by quite possibly the worst script ever written in movie history. It was like that scene in the wizard of OZ where Dorothy was told to “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”. The Visual effects were designed to attempt to distract us from a script that was obviously written by a panel of 4 year olds. Somewhere in the middle of the movie, as we were all woken up from our slumber in the utter boredom, it became apparent we were watching a Space twilight movie. Every time there was a cool fight scene I would sit up excited to finally get into the movie, only then to find myself scratching my head wondering why something so beautiful was so boring and contrived. There are three major bad guys who individually have a climactic scene. Oddly enough though the scenes end with nothing climatic ad all and cut to another place in space. As a movie watcher you are tossed around, jumbled up and forced to ingest this story on account you don’t want to waste your $9 by walking out.

Caine is falling in love with Jupiter, but Doesn’t believe they have much in common. Jupiter disagrees…

Caine Wise: Your Majesty, I have more in common with a dog than I have with you.
Jupiter Jones: I love dogs

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! “I LOVE DOGS” as she leans in and tries to kiss him? all this script convinces me is to write a PSA to all the kids out there. Ahem… KIDS… DON’T DO DRUGS and STAY IN SCHOOL or else you will write dumb crap like this!

There is even one scene where she asks CAine “do you want to bite me now?” He doesn’t bite her, thankfully, but this MOVIE sure BITES!

Conclusion – I could literally talk about every every moment of this ‘dog dung wrapped in a beautiful package’, but It’s best I put it simply. DO NOT see this movie! Let me give you some recommendations of other crappy movies instead so you can grasp how bad this was. Battlefield earth, Leonard part 6, BioDome, Catwoman, Rabid Grannies. Are you tracking with me here? 2 hours & 5 min you will NEVER EVER get back.  0 of 5 stars

ironman

Iron Man 3: a review from a comic book nerd dad –
TIRADE ALERT

Last night I took my awesome wife out to see iron man 3. I have been crazy excited about this movie for ages. We bought tickets hours ahead of time and showed up 30 min early, greeted by a nice long long of fanboys and 4 year olds. 4 year olds? Let me segway here for a moment. I have many friends that let their kids see movies like this and ones that are PG-13 when the kids are clearly 6 years away from ever meeting that restriction age. I am fully aware that some PG movies play like PG-13 and some PG-13 movies really could pass for PG. I also know that every parent gets to choose how they parent. We might be in the extreme in that we haven’t let any of our kids, including our 12 year old, see any of the comic book movies.

The reason is simple… Innocence.

It is a word we seemed to have lost along the way in regards to our kids. We live in a day in age when 15 year olds can get the morning after pill, children bring guns to school, bullies no longer just pull hair, and terrorism can come from your next door neighbor. It’s possible some of my friends might be mad at me for saying this, but as parents I think more than ever we need to guard the innocence in our children. Notice I didn’t say put them in a bubble, but there is a difference between our kids just experiencing life and parents introducing violence and sex into an 8 year olds brain and heart. I will get back to that in a second.

This Iron Man was fantastic. It had every element I love from the comic, the other iron man films and even tying in the avengers through the movie. Some of the twists were interesting and I will eliminate spoilers here. Some changes I liked and some I didn’t.

The writing in this film is brilliant. Character development, story arc, love interest, and it keeps you entertained from beginning to end. Through the movie we start to see bits of humility shine through stark and yet we retain his witty ego which is a blast to watch. I would have loved to have seen iron mans Extensis armor. I can’t wait for Avengers 2.

Gwyneth Paltrow, an actress I am normally not a fan of, was pretty great in the film.Gwyneth is a woman who supposedly works out every day for 2 hours with personal trainer to the stars, Tracy Anderson. I actually have one of Tracy’s videos that my wife and I have worked out to and it kicked our tails. What I noticed in the film was they made sure to as much as humanly possible show Gwyneth’s Abs. At the end of the credits I was waiting for a workout video info-mercial.

Now back to what I started with. This was the most violent and dark film of the marvel superhero genre so far. It didn’t bother me one bit because I am 36 and have been reading comics all my life. I am a nerd/geek and proud of it. While I was watching a film a film with a hero that of course saves the day it also had terrorism, people being burned, people being shot, evil characters in bed with two women, and very close to home flickering scenes of maniacal evil people. The whole time I sat there I enjoyed one of my favorite characters, but only could slightly because I watched parents bring their 4 year olds into the room. In front of us 7 and 8 year olds were cheering their hero while watching scenes sprinkled with violence that was growing them up too fast.

I can go on for days on this, but let me end with this:
Iron man gets 5 stars from me. Its brilliant and dark and awesome. It is also PG-13 for a reason.
The parents who brought there 4-11 year olds into the theater last night get -12 stars because they chose not to exercise wisdom and are subjecting their kids to “comic book violence”. As much as we would not like to admit it the “comic book violence” we saw on that movie is happening all around the world even as I type this.

So GO SEE IRON MAN 3!!!! but… for the sake of keeping our children innocent for just a little bit longer please don’t take them with you.

 

 

{spoiler alert}

Last night, after waiting for 17 years, I went to see “Watchmen”.

It was 2 hours and 45 min.
I had my pretzel and coke in hand. I was ready to be super happy or super disappointed.

I of course read the book. and while the movie stands alone I do believe that having read the book it changed my feelings about the film.

Let me start with the opening of the film. It was perfect. I mean it was like panel for panel with the graphic novel. I was completely floored by how much in this film matched up to the book. The details were amazing. Down to the last drop..and I mean that literally. The people they cast look so much like the book it was wild.

This was a fanboys dream and it lived up to in in every way, but….

The director decided to take liberties with violence that really bothered me. As an example there is a scene in the book where Rorschach finds a child killer chains him in his house and then burns it down. In the film however we got to see a change for the sake of shock value where the man is chained and then butchered in the head with a meat clever. It was very disturbing to watch.

There was more of that kind of stuff. Some of it was in the book and some not. I don’t shy away from violence in films, but there is something to be said for leaving it to the imagination. I this film we never have to use our imagination. This was very disappointing and not necessary for the film at all. In my opinion it really soured it actually. This to me was the worst part of the film. I hate violence just for the sake of it and there were some bloody scenes that were not in the book that they added in for no reason other than to get an R rating.

Then there is Doctor Manhattan who walks around as a big blue alien naked guy. His penis is fully exposed. This wasn’t too much of an issue for me because the character to me is like watching a documentary on a tribe in brazil or something. It wasn’t meant to be crude or for shock. While this wasn’t an issue for me it will be for others and is not appropriate for kids.

There is a “almost” rape scene which was straight out of the book. The director took it a little too far with the violence again and added more then there should have been. No nudity in it.

There were some prostitutes, but I don’t think they showed anything…

As far as explicit sex there was a scene on a couch which really didn’t show anything, a dream sequence which was just like the book and was kinda artsy so it wasn’t too much of an issue to me. There is an odd scene with the blue guy and silk spectre where there are 3 of him pleasuring her. Again we don’t see anything.

Then there was “the” sex scene. In this scene two major characters have sex on a ship. This scene is in the book. However there is something about 1980’s simple line art that is a little different than real people. While it was a necessary part of the film and the book I think they chose to show way too much. It is not an artsy fartsy film. Much of that scene should have been left to our imagination. Showing kissing and a shirtless back is enough, but they showed Silk’s breasts and and showed climax. This bothered me less than the violence because at least it was in the book, but it was still unnecessary and awkward.

The cinematography in this film is breathtaking. The fighting scenes are outrageous. The acting and casting is perfect. The story is brilliant. The violence is way over the top. The sex shows too much.

I had a hard time reviewing this film because I have been a fan of this for so long.

After thinking about it here is my thought.

If you have read the book and you are a fan of it then you will want to see this film. You will also know when you should be covering your eyes because anything that is violent in the book is taken to an extreme in the film. If you are able to get away with not watching in theater then rent it and make the ffwd button your friend.

If you have not read the book I don’t think you will be lost by watching the film, but because of no emotional attachment you might as well skip it and wait for star trek in May.

If you are under 17 and want to see this…send me your phone number so I can tell your parents to lock you in your room.

This is not a kids film and it contains too much stuff for shock value, but at the same time is a brilliant film. That’s why it is so hard for me to review. While I personally loved 85% of the film. The 15% of it that bothered me makes it so I can’t recommend this film to anybody who has not been an avid fan of the book since it came out.

For a more detailed review

[Rating: 3.5/5]