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50

The 50 shades of Grey trailer released at 8AM on the today show yesterday barraging mens minds with the permission to control and lust after women as well as giving women the permission to live in a fantasy land and escape their marriage in visual adultery.

There is so much crap flying at our faces these days and quite frankly to keep our minds pure is a battle.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I have seen too many broken families in the last few years that have bought into the lie that fantasy is reality, that reading a book is equal to making love to your spouse, and that watching a “harmless” film doesn’t affect your marriage.

It is a lie from the enemy! It is not grey. It is black and white.

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.- Matthew 5:28

I don’t care if the movie/book is good or not good. Arguing over it’s literary quality or cinematography is worthless. It is a twisted view of sex and relationships. Most importantly it is a perversion of LOVE.

God created sex and it is great! God is love and He is perfect. Don’t let your mind and heart be cluttered and jammed full of the garbage of this world. The Bible says to FLEE from temptation and sexual perversion. I know it is tough.  It says flee because God knows that it is tough and He wants us to run away and run towards truth. I get bombarded with these temptations…I am human too, but friends it is a battle worth fighting!

This is not art.
This is not a romantic chick flick.

IT is warped, twisted, photoshopped and scripted.

Real love… real sex… real commitment is messy, flawed and part of Gods design to bring a man and woman together and make them not only ONE, but also to teach them to love selflessly and unconditionally.

Men: Pursue your wife today.. make sure they know how amazing they are. If you haven’t told your wife she is beautiful lately, GO NOW! The bible says to treat your wife like Christ treats the church. We are to be willing to give up everything for her. Not treat them as a slave for OUR selfish needs. Love her. Cherish her. Be intimate with her. Pray for her. Protect her.
If you are not married: Guard your mind and your body. God has a plan for you and it does not include selfish Love. It is a sex-saturated society… Like David and Bathsheba, Stop looking out at woman bathing on rooftops! RUN!

Women: Submission doesn’t equal slavery and pain. You are worth more than a cheap popcorn smelling fantasy. You are a jewel and a daughter of God. You are created in His image and are beautiful. Keep your eyes pure. Pursue your husband. Let him know how great he looks and how much you love him. Love him. Cherish him. Be intimate with him. Pray for him. Protect him. Like David and Bathsheba, The only man who you should invite to bath with you on your rooftop physically or in your mind is your husband!
If you are not married: You are worth so much. Your past doesn’t define you. How you choose to live in Christ NOW does. God has a plan for you. You are holy and pure because HE IS! Song of Solomon 4:1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!

If you were considering seeing the movie, Your marriage is worth more than $9.25! DON’T
If you are considering reading the book, regardless of how innocent it may seem… IT is not the LOVE that God has taught us about. DON’T

Married or not, DON’T sacrifice LOVE for a cheap thrill that WILL harm you, compromise you and steer you away from the things of God.

REAL LOVE – 1 Cor 13 
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

 

NOAHPlease note this review is riddled with spoilers… however you may not care.

I went to see Noah last night with a group of guys. When I originally saw the trailer I remember thinking “wow… that’s kinda interesting… Russell crow doesn’t look 600 years old…I’ll wait for redbox”. Then blog after blog of Christians condemning the film before even seeing it made me automatically want to go check out the film. Some may see that as wrong motives, but I am convinced the church is great at condemning things that they haven’t seen first or researched. This “judgement” even extends to one denomination badmouthing another. We are notorious for it.

And so… I went. I went in with hopes. Either this film was amazing and I could see what all the concern was or it was horrible and I could see what all the concern was.

What I got was mediocre and I walked out thinking. “Wow…I am sure the church has something better to do than complain about this lame film”. No before you jump all over me let me just explain that. Nothing is more dangerous to the Faith than another sect preaching something that is so close to the truth that it is hard to tell the difference and you can get easily duped. It makes absolute sense that the christian church needs to make real clear where they differ from the counterfeits like new age, Mormon etc. Many were concerned this film would teach people untruths about God and the Genesis story, even though we have very little info not only about the noah story but also how creation began. This film however takes huge fantastical leaps towards “The Neverending Story”, but with computers that did worse graphics than the puppets that film used, that I am convinced anybody that sees it will think. “there is no way that was in the bible… let me me go read Genesis” or “what the heck was that… I want my $9.25 back”.

I have rules with christian or bible story films: 
1. If they are claiming it is a good adaptation of a bible story and accurate as best they could… It will be horrible and it won’t be accurate and possibly too close that it will confuse people. In addition it may have kirk cameron or a sound track from nickleback so I can’t watch it.
2. You want to take a bible based story and attempt to keep the core truths and internal struggles while layering over a fantastical backdrop? I will give this a watch and see if it is good.

I think of my favorite play Godspell, written by a jewish man, about the book of matthew which is brilliant. Then there is my other favorite, Jesus Christ Superstar, which is written about the rise and fall of a rockstar through the story of Jesus. In that film and play we see a story that has the roman soldiers with machine guns and a hippy bus that the disciples are standing on. There are moments in the film where I know what andrew loyd webber was trying to illustrate and yet gave me such huge insight into the heart of my savior.

There are films like 10 commandments, left behind, and 500 1980’s mark of the beast films that get a green card from christians even though they are not only off biblically, but also illustrate in some cases end times theology that can be at best called “theory”. Not sure why films like that get a free pass.

Back to noah… So you can get in my mind as a you read this review, you need to know that I am a geek, scifi nerd, steampunk fanatic, and used to draw comics books for a few studios and role playing companies. I say this because I am looking at this film through that lens and it may be a very different lens than you have, but it is a very cool one!

The movie begins with what looks like crappy hand drawings and techno color weirdness. It has these comic book inspired, but instead of learning from 300 or sin city how to visually do that right they took a page out of what waterworld would have looked like on a low rez screen.

The director jumped into his theories of creation and regardless of where you stand on evolution or no evolution he made it clear it all started with the “Creator”. I loved that name for God! We have no idea what adam and eve called God in the garden. Moses was told to call Him “I AM”. The name “creator” is great because it reminds us as the “creation” we can never be greater. It is a humbling term for God and very cool.

I realized I was not upset or angry at anything in the movie. The directors additions of the Mad max world complete with welding helmets and tin roofing material could have been epic and instead to me were merely laughable.

Noah seems to live on “Tatooine” which was cool, but had me a bit distracted waiting for a Sandcrawler to pull up and Jawas jump out.

I am not going to go minute by minute because to be honest I can really only remember the stuff I was laughing at. So excuse my diarrhea of the fingers here.

The Rock creatures or “watchers” I guess were suppose to be his pre version of The Nephilim hybrids…sorta…who in bible were offspring of the “sons of God” and the “daughters of men” and referenced slightly as being fallen angels here. We know pretty much nothing about these guys in the bible and it seemed to me Aronofsky went WAY left field with these guys almost to intentionally stay away from guessing what they were like. So while the nephilim were the “offspring” he kinda bypassed that and just went with fallen angel rock guys instead. There is a scene with the rock dude and he lifts up all six hands and says “Their in good hands”. I let out a huge laugh as I pictured a “neverending story” Rockbiter saying “these strong hands…”

There were a few political nods of course. One for PETA which made it very clear that if you eat prehistoric animals you are destined for destruction so become a vegan before the end of the movie because a flood is coming!

While I wasn’t upset about the odd additions I didn’t understand the subtractions. They did not serve a purpose. They could have had in there noah hearing clearly from God about the exact dimensions of the ark instead of the odd seed of eden peyote drink Methuselah gave Noah to help him “hear”.

The other subtraction was the wives of Noah’s children. There was an odd story line with finding their wives among the sinful people and not finding any that were worthy to be on the boat because ALL have fallen short. Next thing we know there is a refuge girl who grows up played by Hermione… I mean Emma Watson (who to me stole the show… she was amazing). She gives birth to twin girls and then noah goes crazy believing that even his line was not to be saved. Where Aronofsky went with this, regardless if accurate, could have been done even with keeping the sons wives. I read a TON of people mad about noah going crazy, being angry and unrighteous. I am not sure what movie they were watching because that leap made me think a ton about what was going on internally with Noah. Did you ever do something God asked you to and everybody around you had you to the brink of believing something other than the truth? This really made me look harder at the story of noah and how this must have tore him apart.

The scene where the water comes and he hears screaming around the boat must have ate noah alive in real life. It was reminiscent of titanic but instead of the people on boat dying, the whole world was. Hearing that was mind-numbing.

I am convinced that while we don’t 100% know what adam and even looked like I picture Adam as Thor and Eve as a supermodel. They were perfect and untainted. In this film they are glowing cocoon people and I could not tell which was the girl. So what happened when the curse happened? Glow disappeared and they grew “body parts”?

That brings me to the cartoon satan snake. He shed his skin and came out black and evil as he headed to the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Glowing adam sat and looked at the snake skin… “ooo pretty” as the snake showed eve the forbidden fruit. There it hung… it’s not an apple which is great!… its instead a beating heart fruit? hmm. nasty! EVE what are you thinking! its a heart! DON’T EAT IT! ugh… you did… Well lets at least save the snake skin because it gets all shimmery when you wrap it around your arm in just the right way. Eden wasn’t really pretty either. It wasn’t lush and mystical. It was instead a rainforest and it looked more like I would need to be up on my shots than sunbathing in a magical world.

The “don’t kill the babies” moment was pretty amazing from a pro-life point of view especially when noah said that all he had in his heart when he saw the baby girls was love.

Anthony Hopkins forgot how to act. Jennifer Connoly had an amazing scene where she was yelling at Noah that gave us a look at the human side of that family verses just seeing them in a “Story”. I might add she looked amazing for her age. Russell Crow surprised me. I actually found him convincing as noah just not as a 600 year old noah. He did get to reprise his role as “master and commander” while swinging from a rope and getting hit by a tidal wave. Tubal-cain who the bible refers to as a worker of bronze and iron was used in this story as the “bad guy”. He had one great speech in the movie. Let me rephrase that. The content of the speech was amazing, but not the acting. I just looked him up in an effort to make sure I never watch a movie with him again. FYI .

I loved the miracles in the movie because coming from the time just out of eden, the idea that God was still connected to man was great and made sense. There is a scene where Methuselah heals Seths girlfriends womb and it was very cool and awe inspiring yet at the same time because hopkins was acting bad left a “merlin: made for tv” feel. She then runs into the arms of seth and they realize they can finally have a kid. Right then Barry white comes on and…

Speaking of music; The soundtrack was terrible. Remember in the early 90’s every keyboard/piano had a sound called “orchestra hit”? It seemed to me they found that sound too often. Every intense moment or intimate scene was interrupted by this goofy music.

It was evident their budget ran out halfway through not only with the soundtrack and animation but also the animal footage. We barely saw them! Not only did we not really see them, but where were the prehistoric animals? I am not even talking dinosaurs, but anything! The only ones we saw were a few odd looking deer and in the beginning an armadillo-dog. Normal animals for the rest of the movie. Then at the end after noah goes through his “im drunk on berries” phase we see a montage of the animals in their new home. IT’S ALL STOCK FOOTAGE from animal channel! And I’m sure I saw beast master bringing his two ferrets on the ark.

At the end there is a cool moment with an epileptic seizure inducing rainbow as Noah passes his birthright and the mark of the Creator onto the baby girls. His arm and snake skin glow… He reaches out one finger staying true to elliot and ET and as he touches the babies… DING… a bell sound? wthflockofseagulls! did an angel get it’s wings?

Let me conclude with this… It is absurd to be upset over this movie being that it itself is such an absurd film. It has some really lame stuff in it and some brilliant human struggles in it that quite frankly I liked a lot. It however is a RENT ONLY. Not because you shouldn’t support it, but really because I think the crappy animation may look better on a small screen.

I just found out a graphic novel comic is being made of it… or it may be out and it looks very cool. I might have to check that out because the idea behind this was brilliant I think… It was the execution that made it look like a lousy version of the “dark crystal” meets “conan” meets “mad max” and tina turner wasn’t even in it!

I hope all of this made sense… this is the longest review I have ever done and to be honest I don’t want to spend time editing my mystery science theater 3000 off the cuff review… Take it for what its worth… Its not scary and evil… it was kinda lame and sometimes really funny how much it was.

Now to start complaining about the new “exodus” movie coming out… Maybe there is something more important to do as the church… hmm.

DESCRIPTION OF THE COMIC: From acclaimed filmmaker DARREN ARONOFSKY (Black Swan, The Wrestler) and artist NIKO HENRICHON (Pride of Baghdad), NOAH is a fresh take on the biblical epic for the 21st Century. A fantastical world is about to be destroyed and one man is chosen to start a new one. As wicked forces try to take his Ark, Noah must hold his family together while they watch the annihilation of all they know. Infusing the Book of Genesis with fantasy and science fiction, NOAH both reinvents the elements of the Flood story everyone knows and simultaneously takes the reader beyond them and into the unexpected.

ironman

Iron Man 3: a review from a comic book nerd dad –
TIRADE ALERT

Last night I took my awesome wife out to see iron man 3. I have been crazy excited about this movie for ages. We bought tickets hours ahead of time and showed up 30 min early, greeted by a nice long long of fanboys and 4 year olds. 4 year olds? Let me segway here for a moment. I have many friends that let their kids see movies like this and ones that are PG-13 when the kids are clearly 6 years away from ever meeting that restriction age. I am fully aware that some PG movies play like PG-13 and some PG-13 movies really could pass for PG. I also know that every parent gets to choose how they parent. We might be in the extreme in that we haven’t let any of our kids, including our 12 year old, see any of the comic book movies.

The reason is simple… Innocence.

It is a word we seemed to have lost along the way in regards to our kids. We live in a day in age when 15 year olds can get the morning after pill, children bring guns to school, bullies no longer just pull hair, and terrorism can come from your next door neighbor. It’s possible some of my friends might be mad at me for saying this, but as parents I think more than ever we need to guard the innocence in our children. Notice I didn’t say put them in a bubble, but there is a difference between our kids just experiencing life and parents introducing violence and sex into an 8 year olds brain and heart. I will get back to that in a second.

This Iron Man was fantastic. It had every element I love from the comic, the other iron man films and even tying in the avengers through the movie. Some of the twists were interesting and I will eliminate spoilers here. Some changes I liked and some I didn’t.

The writing in this film is brilliant. Character development, story arc, love interest, and it keeps you entertained from beginning to end. Through the movie we start to see bits of humility shine through stark and yet we retain his witty ego which is a blast to watch. I would have loved to have seen iron mans Extensis armor. I can’t wait for Avengers 2.

Gwyneth Paltrow, an actress I am normally not a fan of, was pretty great in the film.Gwyneth is a woman who supposedly works out every day for 2 hours with personal trainer to the stars, Tracy Anderson. I actually have one of Tracy’s videos that my wife and I have worked out to and it kicked our tails. What I noticed in the film was they made sure to as much as humanly possible show Gwyneth’s Abs. At the end of the credits I was waiting for a workout video info-mercial.

Now back to what I started with. This was the most violent and dark film of the marvel superhero genre so far. It didn’t bother me one bit because I am 36 and have been reading comics all my life. I am a nerd/geek and proud of it. While I was watching a film a film with a hero that of course saves the day it also had terrorism, people being burned, people being shot, evil characters in bed with two women, and very close to home flickering scenes of maniacal evil people. The whole time I sat there I enjoyed one of my favorite characters, but only could slightly because I watched parents bring their 4 year olds into the room. In front of us 7 and 8 year olds were cheering their hero while watching scenes sprinkled with violence that was growing them up too fast.

I can go on for days on this, but let me end with this:
Iron man gets 5 stars from me. Its brilliant and dark and awesome. It is also PG-13 for a reason.
The parents who brought there 4-11 year olds into the theater last night get -12 stars because they chose not to exercise wisdom and are subjecting their kids to “comic book violence”. As much as we would not like to admit it the “comic book violence” we saw on that movie is happening all around the world even as I type this.

So GO SEE IRON MAN 3!!!! but… for the sake of keeping our children innocent for just a little bit longer please don’t take them with you.

 

 

Here is the Film caption…

“In a world where kings and empires rise and fall, where fantasy becomes reality, where armies are slaughtered for thier beliefs, where rulers are disemboweled on toilets, where sex and passion are in the open….there stands one man willing to change it all……
This summer embark on a journey from other worlds to an earthly garden and discover what it really means to be ALIVE….the Bible…opens in theaters everywhere june 2009″

We are having a great discussion in my last post about the watchmen. WHICH I DON’t RECOMMEND (sadly..I really wish I could). Go read the comments. Great stuff.

Anyway, It got me thinking. I have always found it odd how much violence and sex etc etc is in the Bible and that even by our own standards we would not see it if it was a movie. Just an interesting thought.

Anybody have any thoughts on that?

{spoiler alert}

Last night, after waiting for 17 years, I went to see “Watchmen”.

It was 2 hours and 45 min.
I had my pretzel and coke in hand. I was ready to be super happy or super disappointed.

I of course read the book. and while the movie stands alone I do believe that having read the book it changed my feelings about the film.

Let me start with the opening of the film. It was perfect. I mean it was like panel for panel with the graphic novel. I was completely floored by how much in this film matched up to the book. The details were amazing. Down to the last drop..and I mean that literally. The people they cast look so much like the book it was wild.

This was a fanboys dream and it lived up to in in every way, but….

The director decided to take liberties with violence that really bothered me. As an example there is a scene in the book where Rorschach finds a child killer chains him in his house and then burns it down. In the film however we got to see a change for the sake of shock value where the man is chained and then butchered in the head with a meat clever. It was very disturbing to watch.

There was more of that kind of stuff. Some of it was in the book and some not. I don’t shy away from violence in films, but there is something to be said for leaving it to the imagination. I this film we never have to use our imagination. This was very disappointing and not necessary for the film at all. In my opinion it really soured it actually. This to me was the worst part of the film. I hate violence just for the sake of it and there were some bloody scenes that were not in the book that they added in for no reason other than to get an R rating.

Then there is Doctor Manhattan who walks around as a big blue alien naked guy. His penis is fully exposed. This wasn’t too much of an issue for me because the character to me is like watching a documentary on a tribe in brazil or something. It wasn’t meant to be crude or for shock. While this wasn’t an issue for me it will be for others and is not appropriate for kids.

There is a “almost” rape scene which was straight out of the book. The director took it a little too far with the violence again and added more then there should have been. No nudity in it.

There were some prostitutes, but I don’t think they showed anything…

As far as explicit sex there was a scene on a couch which really didn’t show anything, a dream sequence which was just like the book and was kinda artsy so it wasn’t too much of an issue to me. There is an odd scene with the blue guy and silk spectre where there are 3 of him pleasuring her. Again we don’t see anything.

Then there was “the” sex scene. In this scene two major characters have sex on a ship. This scene is in the book. However there is something about 1980’s simple line art that is a little different than real people. While it was a necessary part of the film and the book I think they chose to show way too much. It is not an artsy fartsy film. Much of that scene should have been left to our imagination. Showing kissing and a shirtless back is enough, but they showed Silk’s breasts and and showed climax. This bothered me less than the violence because at least it was in the book, but it was still unnecessary and awkward.

The cinematography in this film is breathtaking. The fighting scenes are outrageous. The acting and casting is perfect. The story is brilliant. The violence is way over the top. The sex shows too much.

I had a hard time reviewing this film because I have been a fan of this for so long.

After thinking about it here is my thought.

If you have read the book and you are a fan of it then you will want to see this film. You will also know when you should be covering your eyes because anything that is violent in the book is taken to an extreme in the film. If you are able to get away with not watching in theater then rent it and make the ffwd button your friend.

If you have not read the book I don’t think you will be lost by watching the film, but because of no emotional attachment you might as well skip it and wait for star trek in May.

If you are under 17 and want to see this…send me your phone number so I can tell your parents to lock you in your room.

This is not a kids film and it contains too much stuff for shock value, but at the same time is a brilliant film. That’s why it is so hard for me to review. While I personally loved 85% of the film. The 15% of it that bothered me makes it so I can’t recommend this film to anybody who has not been an avid fan of the book since it came out.

For a more detailed review

[Rating: 3.5/5]